I blame you first love, for being so great. Fuck your greatness, fuck your thoughtfulness, fuck your attention and love. Fuck your conversation the most. You were only supposed to be a sip. Nope. You turned into the tallest, coolest, sweetest, most refreshing drink of my life.
Welcome to my sad new reality since you’ve been gone. It’s a universe where every soul lives in your shadow, attempting to be what you once were. And each failure hurts more than the last.
My smiles have never again been as wide as they were with you. The late night conversations have never probed as deep as they did with you.
Inside jokes, yes, but never like with you. Knowing glances, long e-mails but chale, not like yours.
Don’t confuse these words for words of affection, for they are words of pure hate.
Why be so perfect if you won’t stay forever? Why change my world and then disappear, leaving me with nothing but your colossal shoes that it seems not a soul can fill?
You were my everything. You showed me what love was. Can you show someone else so they can show me? Nobody else seems to know…
Nothing feels right. It’s always a game of charades, a façade… I’m playing house until I realize my cheeks hurt from the static smile plastered across my face. Then it happens all over again…
I cannot stand what this is doing to me. What will my life be if I never love another like I loved you?
They say time takes the pain away, but all time has done is make it clearer that the pain is here to stay.
