I think, therefore I am Pisces.
Aside from a few traits that I rarely exhibit, I feel like I am a Pisces through and through. It’s not always a good thing, but I understand myself better, and don’t wonder as much why it’s in my nature to feel certain ways.
I’ve always been a dreamer. Growing up while most of my siblings were not playmate age meant that I’ve always had a well-developed imagination and love for fantasy. Even now that I’m more grown up, I daydream endlessly about every aspect of life… I’ve imagined countless scenarios; attended everything from my own funeral to my wedding to the birth of my children- all in my head.
I love art and music and literally get goosebumps when I watch or hear talent I enjoy. I love to sing. I use blogging as an escape. I also write a lot to people I care about.
I empathize very easily. I get people. I can usually tell what people’s motivations are even better than they can sometimes, and I’m always generous with my time and advice, even when I don’t take my own advice. I tolerate a lot from people I care about, and very little from those I don’t. I get emotionally involved in my work, and can be over-sensitive. I sometimes see people’s actions as direct attacks on me, even when they might not be. I hide my oversensitive nature by talking very nonchalantly and consider it weak to show emotion to those that don’t know me well. Because of the thick-skinned front I put up to hide my true Piscean nature, others see me as very resilient and might disregard my feelings because they expect me to deal with it without difficulty. Two fishes, facing opposite directions. Dual nature, true self is well-hidden. I’ll give an example… earlier this Summer, I had a conversation with some of my girlfriends about exes. One of them was talking about how her breakup was ruining her life and she basically wasn’t giving anyone who was not her ex-boyfriend a chance. The conversation was long, and almost funny. It got me thinking about the role exes can play in future relationships, and I scribbled something that was half-poem half prose on a writing pad lying infront of me. About a week later I typed it out and put it on my blog, without any context. Considering that most of my posts are personal experiences, people who read it and knew anything at all about me, understandably assumed it was the current state of my life (the post was very desolate.) Because I’m so “thick skinned” and a “tough bitch”, a few people thought it’d be cool to send me messages like ‘what the fuck hahaha crying over your ex you dumb bitch its been 20 years’. Ok, I made that message up. But. My point is, I was able to overlook them, and know that people will talk even if they don’t know your life, but, I wondered still, what if I really was feeling desolate and depressed and without a purpose in life? What would such messages have done to me? Why would people send that to someone who was actually struggling? Thank God I didn’t receive those about something I was actually going through. That whole thought process makes me even more Piscean, I realize. Pisces expects too much from the world and wants to save it from itself. The Pisces in me doesn’t understand why another human being would be so inhumane. We both bleed, we both breathe, we both struggle. Why so much hate?
Pisces treats love like air. We crave it, and when we get it, we expect devotion. We spend our lives trying to make the fantasies we’ve imagined come true. Reality can really hurt…
P.s Apparently my dislike for dirt and grime, and also for being reminded to do things might have to do with being a Pisces too? The more you know…
Ok this post got longer than I intended… :)
This 30-Day Challenge has worried me…
