mawuko asked: you are gorgeous...drops dead
dontwakemamabear asked: Thanks for the follow. You're a gifted writer :)
thank you!
Anonymous asked: You have a boyfriend?
I just received a subpoena of sorts…LOL. I’ve gotten so many the past few months, and they all want to know the same thing: Why won’t I post on my blog, why has it been so long, what is the meaning of this? I’ll take responsibility for my irresponsibility, but I’ll also blame it on fear. Trust me, my Draft folder is full of posts and snippets of posts, and padlocked securely by some intense fear… fear of mediocrity, and fear of each post not being better than the last. I suppose I’m not being held to any real standard or rubric, but it wouldn’t feel right if I posted unreasoned crap.
But I know I must post today; enough is enough!
For ages I’ve wanted to write a post about how hard it is to be a man, but every time I mention it, my friends tell me to shut up. I know people will disagree with some things I’m going to say in this post, but that’s a chance I think I’ll just have to take. I’m not naïve enough to assert that men are sad little pathetic beings that need our sympathy, and I’m no stranger to the fact that society hands them several privileges and opportunities that women aren’t as lucky to receive… so just read this keeping that in mind.
I was watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre the other day for class and got to the scene where the group of teenagers picks up a young girl from the side of the road. She shoots herself in the back of their van, and they end up with a dead body on their hands. All five of them are repulsed. After driving for hours, the girls can no longer take the trauma of sitting next to the body, and run out of the vehicle, puking repeatedly in the bushes. At this point, the girl’s body is still there, and the girls have left the van crying and throwing up. It is the guys’ duty to figure out a game plan to get the body out of the van. Now this is all well and dandy, but bear in mind that 1) these kids are all the same age, 2) just like the girls, the guys have never seen a dead body 3) they have no special training on what to do in such a situation; just like the girls. But somehow, in that situation, they are supposed to reach deep within them and pull out the fearlessness and level-headedness of being an alpha male leader and a calming, reassuring presence, as well as the presence of mind to deal with a corpse. Oh and they’re to do all this without getting sick to their stomachs. And the only thing that has prepped them for this situation is the fact that they were born male.
Even with all the injustice and angst it comes with, I’m glad I’m a woman. I’m glad I can choose to sit back and allow someone to help me, and society won’t judge me if I choose that. I’m glad that I’m allowed to have emotion and that I have permission to cry when I hurt. I’m glad I’m allowed to be a human and not a robot. I’m glad that I can be girly one day, and a tomboy the next and go right back to girly the next day. I’m glad that I can kiss my friend on the cheek without being called gay, and can also pat her on the back if I choose. I’m not glad that I will be judged by what I wear or that some people still find rape jokes funny, but I’m not blind to the things that I am ”allowed” to do because of my gender. I’m dissatisfied that so little of the world’s wealth belongs to women, but at the same time recognize the level of emasculation a man faces from society when he spends his woman’s money- something it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have to face. I want more women to be CEOs and Executives, but why does society shame the men who work underneath them? As long as there is a source of shame and emasculation for men working underneath a woman, there will be sexism. And that sexism is a misguided form of self-defense.
Men grow up their entire lives in a frame. Clear lines denote what is considered acceptable and what shouldn’t be done, right from the first disapproving glance they get when they try on mummy’s shoes because they saw their sister do it. How dare you want to degrade yourself to being a woman? You are a man, and men are not concerned with female frivolities. This immediately sows the seed of male superiority and dominance. And we are all guilty. I have certainly snatched my lipstick from my 2 year-old nephew’s grubby palms, and he is only TWO. Did I instinctively forbid him from doing anything un-masculine lest he descend from his throne of manhood? (albeit a 2 year-old man lol) Does that make me sexist? Against my own gender? No, I think I am just a victim of societal pressure.
It makes it very hard to be a man. Is my voice deep enough? Am I tall enough? Am I good enough at sports? What if I don’t actually enjoy watching football? Do my abs look good enough to make her notice me? Is my dick big enough? Do I make enough money? Is my car luxurious enough? Do I pop enough bottles in the club? Am I muscular enough? Do I look good in a suit? What if I’m not good at Science & Math and I want to draw or write or design or cook? Am I aloof and unemotional enough? Have I slept with enough women? Is my favorite rapper gangster enough? Do I own too many clothes in secondary colors? Is the face of my watch large enough? What if I like salads? Do I order one? Is it okay if I like a Beyoncé song?
Not that I’m saying women don’t have insecurities, like hell we do- and the whole world knows we do. We are constantly given the leeway and several opportunities to discuss them- both with each other and in the open. But do we acknowledge that men do too? Can we even encourage them to discuss these things? Since after all discussing emotions is also taboo?
Anything that speaks for men and tries to be a counterpart to feminism, is not masculism, but instead, sexism… why?
Love,
Devil’s Advocate
#frametastic
Hi everyone,
This month I was involved in one of the most meaningful experiences of my time here at Duke: Me Too Monologues 2012.
I worked with 14 other cast members and a wonderful production crew to tell 19 beautiful, anonymously submitted true stories. Some of them made us want to find the author and hug them, several made as laugh, and some brought us closer together. Working on Me Too didn’t feel like work, and even now, I found myself reciting random lines of monologues every now and then.
I want to share a Youtube playlist of the videos. (The one I’m in is towards the end, and it’s called “Convince Me”)
For all Duke readers who will be here next year, apply to be on the 2013 Production Team HERE.
And seniors, you can still submit monologues as alumni.
Enjoy the show!!